… your emotions is exhausting, in case you were wondering.
I started this project a while ago, for those of you that don’t know, in which I record myself reading old journal entries from a specific point in time then improvise to them then strip the audio and put the movement to something else that may or may not be “directly” related but are somehow linked.
I have about an hour of footage so far. This hour is a visual representation of the hours that I spent writing and struggling to process what I was feeling then. The hours after that it has taken to read back through those entries — which is an interesting process, to see where I was then versus where I am or think I am now — improvising, editing, and posting. This hour is pretty heavy, and dark, and draining.
But I’m learning, and I’m seeing why artists pull from what they feel are some of their darkest moments. Moments that they didn’t think they’d ever want to revisit while they were in them and moments that they want to stop revisiting once they start.
But this is the first time I’m doing a project of this type, so as much as I want to stop I plan on seeing this one through (and I only have 9 videos left to film/edit, and since I already have 16, I’m more than half way there).
So there are 16 videos in a playlist on the youtube, do with that what you will.
(but watch this one first)
(as with the note in this post, the video I’m intending for you to watch is “(hours)”, but given the nature of this playlist, I’ve had to put it first in the sequence in order for it to show up here, so if you’re watching this after I’ve put the videos back in the correct order then you’ll probably be looking at “(anticipatory)”)