I did a lot of filming yesterday. I posted another video about a month ago that I said was the first in a series that I’m planning on doing, and the video in this post is part of that project. Briefly, if you haven’t or don’t feel like looking back at the other post, this project is basically just me improvising to journal style entries that I wrote a while ago, as a way to revisit old emotions and express them and release them through movement.
So this question of “embodying memories”. Literal definitions of embody suggest that to “embody” something is to give a tangible expression of something, to contain something as a constituent part, or to form into a “body” of something. So by embodying my memories in these videos, I’m guessing I’m making them more tangible by throwing visible representations, as vague as they may be, out into the universe.
So then the question of what a body seeks to communicate. I obviously have more information on this than you do since I elide the words from all of these videos in the editing, but I think my body is trying to communicate very specific things that don’t really need words to explain — and here I’m abstracting the body from the self (the self being myself) and implying that it is saying things that I may or may not intend it to say. In the “featured” video in this post (which I will warn you is 13 minutes long — but has good content at least à mon avis), there are very clear movements that I’m repeating over and over. As I watched this video over and over as I worked on the editing, I had to wonder why those movements? What was I trying to say? How did what the body feel needed to be said relate to what was actually being said in my recording? I also filmed 3 other videos this day, which I’ll link here (linking for vanity purposes in the hopes that people will actually watch — but there’s also a playlist so you can navigate to each one from another once you’re in the youtube), in which I also repeat a lot of the same movement, some of which is explored in each video. So I have to ask why, and what my body wanted to say, to either complement what the self was saying or go beyond it.
Also as I keep going back to this project, I keep asking myself why I’m doing it in the first place, which you also may be wondering. Short answer: I don’t have a good answer, but I have a lot of answers. None of which I’ll actually go in depth with here, but art is a valuable way to explore aspects of yourself and your thoughts and a slew of other things, so in these videos I’m not really exploring or entering a dialogue (monologue?) with one thing, I’m revisiting a lot of things.
So now that I’ve said too much, if I can steal 13 minutes and some seconds more of your time:
(Just as an FYI, this is the 6th video — not 5th because it corresponds to the 6th day — but it’s first in the playlist right now because for some reason when linked here it was the first video which was not the one that I wanted. So in the event that I reorder this and you end up watching (anticipatory), if you feel so inclined you should click on (embodied memory) fro the playlist since that’s what I actually want you to watch. Yay wonky technology!!!)